8 Years-Dear Doug
I remember the day I first saw you like it was yesterday. September 2001. I walked into my Modern Drama class and there was this older, cute graduate student with his “swimming pool” blue eyes and Red Sox cap sitting at the front of the classroom. Our new TA. I couldn’t stand you.
Over our three shared years at BU my general dislike of you grew. You were clearly a talented director but I found you to be cocky, a ladies man, someone who knew how good he was and how much girls swooned over him. If I had told my 20 year self that I would end of happily married raising two girls with you I would have laughed in my own face! Never!
Fast forward almost 18 years though a friendship, a businesses partnership and eventually a romantic relationship and boy am I glad I gave you a second look and a second chance.
What I didn’t know back then was that you are truly the kindest, most thoughtful, most loving, BEST man there is. Time after time you have proven to me how deeply you are capable of caring for those you love. When I am sick you bring me some magic combination of herbs, supplements and drinks simply saying “take these.” When our babies were tiny no one could bounce them to sleep (while singing the Grateful Dead) like you. Now that they are little girls you have schooled yourself in Disney Princesses, pop stars and pigtails so that you can always speak their language.
No marriage is without it’s tough times and this year has brought us plenty of those. When we lost Monkey this past spring I once again was witness to just how deeply you feel things and care. I love that you are a man who can let himself sob. Who admits when he is hurting. Who doesn’t shy away from the pain.
I have never loved you more than in the weeks leading up to your father’s passing this fall. Watching how you stepped in to take care of your dying father was truly beautiful. You spent weeks just sitting in his room with him. Letting him know you were there. Making him comfortable and at peace. The kind of love, patience and devotion you showed in those final days will never leave me. You my love are one in a million. The most caring and loving of men.
Eight years ago on a beach in Mexico ( in fact the same beach I first fell in love with you on) we vowed to love each other forever in from of our family and friends. What I didn’t know that day was that my love for you was only scratching the surface of possibility. My love for you has grown every day since then. Watching you become a father, watching you truly show what it means to be a son. I am so in love with the man you are. So much more than the 29 year old who married you could have ever understood.
What I have realized these past 8 years is that love isn’t found in the grand gestures. It isn’t about fancy gifts, big parties or bold declarations (as nice as those are). Love is a quiet thing. A hand in mine while we watch our daughter sing at a recital. A simple text in the middle of the day to ask “how are you?” A kiss on the forehead when you get home late and I am almost but not quite asleep.
Happy Anniversary My Love.
All of my life…