Dear Hermione, A Letter on Your 6th Birthday
I’ve been telling you for weeks I don’t want you to turn six. No, I’ve been begging you to stay five forever. This age has been magical. A true sweet spot between a lovable little girl and a young woman I admire. Every time I implore you to stop time you respond with, “Mommy I’ll still be cute even when I am six. Even when I am a grown up.” You are always reassuring me you won’t stray too far from me, that I don’t have to worry about losing you as you grow up. Thank you my love. I hope you are right.
Today on the way to school I reminded you this was your last day of being five. That you would never be five again. You turned to me and with a completely straight face said, “Um Mommy, when I’m reincarnated???” You are a wise old soul my love. From the moment you were born I have never doubted you have been here before.
This year has been an incredible one for you. Watching you grow and thrive as you started Kindergarten has been the most thrilling experience for me and your Daddy. You are so beloved by everyone who gets the pleasure of spending time with you. I love hearing your teachers talk about what a kind soul you have, what a loving inclusive friend you are. Things I have always had the pleasure of knowing.
You have educated your entire class on your veganism without self righteousness. You are solid and proud of your choices without ever making anyone feel bad about theirs. You embrace the differences in people and celebrate your own.
You have truly solidified your place as my best friend and favorite companion. There is no one I would rather share a lunch date with. No one I would rather go to Broadway or the ballet with. No one I trust more for their fashion advice. At night as we lay in your bed snuggled up together reading stories and talking about the day it is a struggle to pull myself away and let you sleep. I enjoy your company so very much.
As much as I would have shielded you from it, this year you learned first hand about loss and grief. First from Monkey and then from you grandfather. On both occasions you were not afraid to look death in the face. To say a final goodbye to the loved one you were about to lose. Your sincere belief in a life after this one is beautiful. We could all stand to learn from you.
As I sit here in the dark of our sleeping apartment I remember the moment almost exactly six years ago when my water dramatically broke two weeks early. I wasn’t ready yet. You took me by surprise. Twelve hours later when I held you in my arms for the first time I was so overwhelmed with love for you I thought my heart would burst. You were so tiny and so perfect. Beautiful beyond words. My life began that moment.
Six years later you are still taking me by surprise. I love you even more than I did that first moment. As cliched as it sounds I have fallen more and more in love with you with every passing day. You are constantly taking my breath away as you did that first time I saw you.
Happy Happy Birthday my love. My big girl who will always be my baby. Thank you for making me a mommy and choosing me to be yours.
All my love,