Let's Talk About...
The other night at dinner Hermione asked me a question that really caught me off guard. Here is how it went down:
Hemione: You know how mommies grow babies in their tummy? How do the babies get in there?
Me: Are you sure you want to know?
Me: Ok ( long pause as I figure out what to say). Well (another long pause). The Daddy sticks his penis inside the mommy’s vagina and puts a baby in there.
Hermione: But how does he put a baby in there?
Me: Well he has something in his penis called sperm and that mixes with the mommies’s egg and makes a baby.
Me: You said you wanted to know.
Hermione: I thought the stork brought the baby down from a cloud and the mommy stuck the baby up her vagina to grow it!
Hermione has seen pictures and videos of her own birth. She knows how babies are born. I suppose I shouldn’t have been so shocked she wanted to know how the babies got in there in the first place. I just wasn’t quite ready to have “the talk” with her yet. She took me by surprise. Doug and I have always been honest with our kids. With the exception of Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny we tell it like it is. We are also a household that is very open with our bodies. The girls see me and Doug naked all the time. They shower with us. The words “penis” and “vagina” are spoken with the same normalcy as “stomach” and “leg.” We are very careful to raise them to love their bodies and not being ashamed of any party or function of them.
Given the circumstances and being caught off guard I am proud of how I handled talking about sex with Hermione. She in turn seemed very satisfied with my answer and didn’t really have any follow up questions. Until bedtime that night.....
Hermione: Wait, have you ever done that thing?
Me: Well yes... twice…
Hermione: Did you like it?
Me: Um... yes?
Hermione: So do people do that before or after they get married?
Me: Um... after?
Hermione: Unless they want their baby to be the flower girl or ring bearer at their wedding right? And then they do it before?
Me: Yup. That’s it.
I wasn't quite ready to to talk about all the nuances of sex with my six year old. When she asks more questions my plan is to answer her honestly and not dumb down or sugar coat anything. I want her to know she can always come to me with her questions about anything. Just because she is young doesn’t mean she can’t handle honesty. My hope is that by being open and honest with her she will grow up to have a healthy relationship with her body and her sexuality when the time comes.