To My Favorite Oscar Presenter
Dear Kermit, I am so thrilled you and Piggy will be presenting at this year's Oscars. While I was shocked and appalled when I heard "Man or Muppet" would not be performed live, knowing you will still take part in the broadcast has given me some comfort. To me, you are Hollywood's ultimate power couple. The evening would not be the same without you.
I wanted to thank you again for the marriage advice you gave me a few summer's back. So far no pigs have gotten involved, and married life is treating us well.
Best of luck this Sunday! I know you and Piggy will be the highlight of the evening! Please let her know I am waiting with bated breath to see her gown!
All my love,
Sara Jane Mercer
P.S. If you have too much of a wild night don't forget your green juice in the morning! It does wonders for a hangover!